Business Coach for Visionary Businesswomen
Helping women scale their online business
Ep. 005 Stop Playing Small
Filed under Podcast
March 4, 2019
In this episode:
- why you need to stop playing small
- how playing small is affecting your life and others
- how playing small is affecting your business
- how showing up exactly as who we are meant to be is what the world needs
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Last week we discussed how to delegate in your business in order to elevate your business.
Today I to take the focus off of others or your team and onto you.
I want to talk about playing small. Are you settling for less than what you know you are capable of? I see this happening with a lot of the women that I work with. And after a recent call with my coach, I noticed even I myself am playing small. And guess what…I don’t want to do that anymore and neither should you.
And so I thought, let’s open it up on the podcast and talk about it.
So, if you are playing small, meaning you are doing less than what you are truly capable of, I want you to stop…for a moment…right now as you listen to this podcast. This is your pep talk…you kick in the pants…your you are meant for way more moment!
I want you to think about if you fully stepped into your being, what would it look like? What you want to do in the world? What is the impact you want to make? Who is the person you want to show up as? What does that look like? And I want you to start shifting or taking steps to that…to be that person. Because that person is YOU.
You might not see that in yourself yet. I thought I was showing up in every way I want to show up. I thought I was showing up in the way that I want others to show up for me. But what I realized was I was showing up for others in the way they needed it. But I wasn’t showing up for myself in the way that I need it. And know I need to show up in the world to my capability to fully feel alive…to fully feel right in my being.
At some point, I stopped showing up into fully as who I am to protect others. To not dim their light. And I coach other women all the time to not dim their light for others. I call it out in them. Why are you not showing up in how you want to live or fully in your business into how you want to run it.
If I am truly stepping into who I know I am ..and having that success…it is not an either/or. But the programming in my brain has told me that I can have one or the other. If I want success in my business and life, it comes at a sacrifice to fully giving myself as a Mom, Wife, sister and all my other hats. And that is just not true. And because of that, it has stopped me from showing up in the world as I know I am meant to.
Because in the past when I feel like I have shown up fully, I got resistance from other people. She is too confident, who does she think she is, wow, you are expressing all of your feelings…that is great Heather. EVen to the point of being called words that I know I am not, because it unintentionally on my part, made other people feel less about themselves and brought out their insecurities. That it didn’t allow me to be fully me…because if I was fully me + stepping into my own…I was causing some uneasiness for others.
One of the things I have grown up learning is having humility is one of the most important traits to have. I wasn’t showing the results I was helping people get because to me that was owning their success.
I wanted to share because I think so many of us are not showing up fully. For the fear that we will shine bright and dim others lights. But what I see and what I know is when we shine bright we allow others to shine bright too. We give the permission that shining bright is okay and actually fully needed in our world today.
This is a conversation that I want to start to recognize how you are playing small in your life + your business. Show up fully as who you are. There are going to be people who don’t like it. There are going to be people that feel really uneasy about it.
There will be people that might start saying things like: Who does she think she is? Who is she to tell me? Who is she to teach me? And you might see people in your world that are showing up fully and shining bright and that might make you feel uneasy. Who does she think she is? Who is she to tell me? Who is she to teach me? Those are our own insecurities.
And instead of lifting each other up and allowing to shine, we are dimming our lights and diminishing each other. So that we can all feel comfortable. When actually what is happening, is a huge sense of uncomfortable feelings. Because we are not allowed to show up exactly as who we are.
We are staying uncomfortably, comfortable to make sure everyone else around us feels okay.
I want to show up in a world fully with love, happiness, tranquility + peace. But I know that in order to get there, we have to start speaking our truths. And communicating what we truly believe in, what we truly want to see in the world. And that might be uncomfortable conversations and might make us feel uneasy at first. But when we truly step into who we are…after we start having the hard conversations…we are all fully able to shine brighter…as people, as a community, as a world.
I know I have a lot of work to do on my recently acknowledged limiting beliefs and what I am truly capable of, I am working on it. I want to ask you to start or continue to do the same work on yourself. Stop playing small. What can you do to start taking the steps to be fully who you know you can be.
Stop waiting to be asked to share your gift with the world or let fear stop you.
Stop worrying so much about what others will say.
Stop letting everything that others say break you down.
I think these are the roots that we have to dig into in order to move forward, fully living the lives we want to, running the businesses we want to run and being the people we want to be.